TGIC #2

Spider-Man, Spider-Man,
Does whatever a spider can.
Spins a web, any size,
Catches thieves just like flies.
Look out! Here comes Spider-Man…

‘Tis the season for jollity my friends, as kindly old St. Peter has opted to rub elbows with we happy few, we band of...something or other. But, yes, in answer to the inevitable question, the Cerberus will be in attendance on opening day, specifically the 9 pm showing at our favored theater downtown. Indeed, this particular sojourn amongst the fanboys, webheads, and trend-followers almost has a quality of the questing about it. One could almost sing about it; mayhaps something like:

We three heads of monstrous mien,
Bearing malcontent shall track our dear Pete,
Fire and brimstone, hellish plain and bottomless pit,
Watch as we witness a saga repeat.

O Star of Maguire, Star so pasty white,
Star with a vacant stare and teeth so bright,
Hollywood leading, fanboy teasing,
Make another film of Spidery might.

…or not. (Righty, being without culture, is going to have no clue what I cribbed that from; Lefty is simply going to twitch as he’s unable to persist in his “Dreamweaving” once this bastard gets stuck in his head.)

It probably seems like the natural state of things that a comic-reviewing three-headed dog with a flair for the hyphen would attend opening days of most any comic-based movie. Quite the contrary in fact, as this will be the first of the comic-related movies any of the three heads have seen thus far this year. Why you ask? Well, a few reasons, none of which, fortunately, require breaking into song. A combination of poor timing, planning, and the punking out of a certain head of the Western persuasion, resulted in us missing out on both Ghostrider and 300. Admittedly, we could’ve seen it on an individual head basis, but what fun would that be?

Furthermore, I, in my capacity as Central Head and mouthpiece of reason, can’t really say I’m all too terribly broken up over it. I mean, it’s not like we didn’t meet every last one of those Spartan bastards when they bit the big one the first time around. Hell, we were feasting for days on the souls of those Persian buggers they sent our way. Frankly, it was kinda like take-out, what with the glut of foreign food we had delivered to our doorstep. Even Lefty took time off from his lyrePod and Arachne’s latest hit to try a bit of the Middle Eastern food Xerxes was so considerate to provide. The reed armor even made each one seem like they were in individual take-out boxes. So, yeah, didn’t exactly miss anything we hadn’t already tried once…

As for Ghostrider, I can’t exactly back anything that so thoroughly distorts the role of the demon in the grand scheme of things. For one thing, this whole head-on-fire-while-riding-a-hog thing…just played out. Plus, in the comic Ghostrider may have been a flaming skeleton, but he still looked like he had a bit of heft to him; skeletal he may be, but capable of snapping you in two he can and would love to do. In all the previews it looked like he went from being Nicholas Cage into some pre-teen’s still-growing frame. And on that note, Nicholas Cage? Really? Nothing against him, but if he really does have a massive Ghostrider tat on his back, leave it on there. Hell, take advantage of it and make the Rider consume him from there. Couldn’t possibly suck more than what I heard about the special effects otherwise.

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So, no new reviews this week…our bad. Admittedly we’ve been rather slack-assed about it lately, but in my own defense, getting to the LCS has been a serious pain in the collective ass for yours truly of late. I know, I know, this just sounds like the high pitched whining of a lazy hellhound head, but we – and I – will get better soon. And who are you to judge? I’ve already written a song for you today!!! What have you done for us lately, other than, you know, justify this blog’s existence by reading it. Anywho, since I’ve already got my write on and have already broached the subject of 300, here’re just a few thoughts on Mr. Frank Miller.

Righty kicked an article from the LA Times to Lefty and yours truly, discussing Miller’s extended stay in La La Land (http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/movies/la-ca-miller29apr29,1,7741626.story?ctrack=1&cset=true). Here’s my problem: in his haste to preserve the vision of his comic art, he neglects to acknowledge the inherent differences that exist between genres. Some comics, books, paintings translate to the silver screen more or less directly and without the need for too terribly much in the way of interpretation (300 from all accounts falls into this category). Others need quite a bit of tweaking to make a successful jump into the various reels. It may be that Miller’s style allows for a smoother transition than that of other writers, artists, or writer/artists; but this doesn’t mean his work needs to be projected, panel for panel, on the screen.

Mike Mignola, for instance, has gone on record stating that he considers the movies and cartoons based off of Hellboy to be completely separate from the comics he has written and drawn. While he provided and continues to provide insight to the filmmakers, these flickering images are not under his control, nor should they be. As far as he is concerned (and here I hope I’m not putting words in his mouth, though I doubt I am), they represent new universes and different interpretations of the work, drawing inspiration from the source material, but not (re)presenting themselves as a movie version of the comics. This is probably why the movies are so thoroughly enjoyable (that and Ron Perlman).

Miller, on the other hand, can’t help but take shots at the current Batman films for not acknowledging the importance of his works. He once said something along the lines of “it might be called Batman Begins but it was Year One.” Um, bullshit. Elements of Year One are certainly present, but so are other storylines. Similarly, the remark regarding the current film’s title, The Dark Knight, that “[t]hey finally got the title right,” is nothing short of insulting. Let’s not forget that the people involved in the creative process have repeatedly mentioned those works they leaned toward and pulled most directly from, with many of Miller’s topping the list. So why the sneering?

The most worrisome aspect of this is that people seem to think he’s in the right on these issues. “He was making movies into comic books” is such a loaded comment because movies need not be comic books, and comics need not be movies. Sure, there’s room for both and the two reflecting each other is as valid an artistic expression as any other, but there’s no reason to think that the best way to make a comic book movie is to make the movie into a comic book. That’s like saying the best way to make a movie based on Pride & Prejudice is to make the movie into a Jane Austen novel. Sounds pretty stoned, eh?

Let me wrap this up and I’ll shut up for probably a week or so. Miller seems to want to reserve his ideas and the art he created for his own uses. Not only is this wrong, but it is absolutely impossible. There is no way for him to “claim” an interpretation of any character, even those he created. Ultimately his point of view, once the work is in the public sphere, is not necessarily any more important than that of his readership. Yes, he has the right to sell the characters and ideas he owns (Sin City, Ronin, etc.) to Hollywood, but unless he’s cut a deal wherein his input and presence is mandated by the sale, he cannot get pissed when another artist puts a new spin on his material. F. Scott Fitzgerald recommended taking the money and running when dealing with Hollywood. Unless Miller plans on directing everything he ever wrote, he needs to do something of the same. Perhaps this is an overreaction or a misinterpretation on my part, but enough comments keep popping up that I’m a touch peeved and more than a touch twitchy.

Until next time, though, my rot-breath brothers and I will (hopefully) post for your reading pleasure. In the meantime, I remain, infernally yours,

cenTrale