Story: Mike Mignola
Art: Duncan Fegredo
Yeah that’s right, Mike Mignola only wrote the story this time, no ink work for the big man this time around. That’s okay, though, as Duncan Fergedo does such a good job imitating Mignola’s style that you aren’t scared off by the difference. The scenes are still dark and brooding, characters still evil, artistic and beautiful. The art is just beautiful to look at, which is one of the reasons I love reading Hellboy comics. Now if only they wouldn’t wait so damned long between issues.
It’s been about two years since Hellboy was a monthly occurrence, two long, long, lonely years. The last series, The Island, showed an ex-B.P.R.D. Hellboy wandering the world looking for himself… or something like that. I have a hard time remembering; I think I drank that part of my brain away… That or I’ve slept since then… one of those two. Anyway, this first issue in Mignola’s six-part arc, which I wish was part of a longer run but probably won’t be, is solid. The frog-faced and, according to the ending of the last Hellboy series, frog-bodied bad guy is back from his appearance in The Island but only half frog this time, trying to, once again, kill our hero, or use him, the plan isn’t clear just yet. It’s the standard plot with Hellboy but I’m ok with that because the writing is always interesting and the characters so intricate that this old standby works every time.
If I had any problems with this current incarnation of Hellboy I guess it would be that he is so very emo. I expect him to put on an Evanescence album, paint his nails black, and mourn the death of the modern soul or some bullshit like that. I know the point is that he is lost now that Professor Bruttenholm is dead and the B.P.R.D. seems to be working hard at not caring how they treat their non-human employees, but does he have to be so god damned apathetic about it? But I digress; I like the comic in spite of emo Hellboy, maybe even because of him, because, as we all know, I’m not happy unless I have something to bitch about.
It’s better than being a castrated pirate. Much better. In fact I think you could say it’s the exact opposite of being a castrated pirate. It’s a rock solid first issue but I can’t figure out what else there is to say about such a solid start. The set up for the arc is concrete and keeps me intrigued enough that I’ll definitely pick up the next two issues at least, unless something catastrophic happens like Hellboy becoming a cross dressing street walker in Rome. Well, OK I might still read an issue like that because it would be so random. The art is similar enough to the original that I’m not put off by the new artist but different enough to be intriguing to see what Fegredo does. So far all the only difference I can see is that he draws cats a little less angular and a bit more realistic, maybe that will carry over to the rest of the comic.
Overall I have to give this issue a Voltron. This issue has done everything right. At this point the arc looks promising.
Drinks drunk during the writing of this review: Gin and Tonic, three fingers of Whiskey, and one stout.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Sinister Monday #5
"Now with 100% more titular ramifications!"
(and by that I mean today I have something very Sinister indeed to talk about. But on to him, er I mean that later...)
Howling Fiends,
Welcome. On this pentacular edition of Sinister Monday I'd like to discuss the Marvel U as a whole and where it is heading. Having relatively recently returned to comic-dom, I have Civil War to thank for anchoring me firmly in the Marvel side of the comicbook Majors. Sure, I still read my JLA/JSA/Batman books, and i peruse an indie now and again (*cough* City of Others *cough cough*) but for the most part I'm a Marvel hellhound. Much of this has to do with my re-entrance into comics coming during a Marvel epic crossover. Maybe if I'd got my collective comic shit together a year earlier it would have been Infinite Crisis that would have captured my soul and instead I'd be living in the DC. Such as it is I'm just happy to be back at all. And the point is (and yes, I'm getting to one, dammit) that huge epic crossover events have a tremendous influence on comics these days. They are able to draw new readers in, expose readers of middling experience to titles they were ignorant of or were avoiding for the wrong reasons, and in most cases up the ante on 'stakes' and quality.
Now what I mean by 'stakes' is that crossovers live and die by the success (or failure) of a Big Change. Civil War readers were livid after the 7 part series ended with very little (immediately apparent) Big Change. Of course the people that thought very little had changed were idiots, and besides, the death they were looking to stamp the Big Change happened anyways, just a few months later in the pages of a different series. Point is, crossovers have tremendous power to change, Exhibit A: The House of M. If one was to chart the current line of Marvel stories (and I will shortly), House of M has to be one of the most important fathers (or mothers seeing as M-day is mostly Wanda's fault). BENDIS!' story radically changed Marvel's mutant population and its effects are still being played out (and will continue to be, etc). Thus the second most important factor of an epic crossover is the germination of new stories. House of M bore much fruit. mmmm... I could sure go for a nice depowered Magnetorange right about now.
Readers are just beginning to see the 'germination' ability of an epic crossover following Millar's opus. Marvel wasn't exactly coy when it said Civil War's main role would be a supporting one. The Superhuman Registration Act does change things significantly (any doubters just focus your eyes on Spidey) but it is the fall out of the war that has really begun to take the Marvel U in wonderfully interesting directions. And now for the first part of a (somewhat half-assed) chart.
Okay so I already know that for all intents and purposes this chart can be begun further back than where I am starting. After all this is comicbooks and everything's got continuity, right? But for our purposes House of M is the Grand Pere. HoM leads to Decimation. Now the mutants being all fucked over leaves them a non-factor when Civil War crops up. yet there non-participation makes HoM important to Civil War in a negative sense. How would that war have gone if (and thats a big if seeing as Xavier's students probably wouldn't have participated anyways, seeing as they were not exactly beloved by humanity before HoM) say Wolverine or perhaps a depowered but always wonderful field martial Cyclops played a part? At any rate these first few chart connections illustrate a third major component of a crossover. They are important merely for their own bigness of scope. There are few characters who remain uneffected (hell you'd need to be in deep space... I'm talking to you Banner/Rider). This may spell continuity hell for some writers, and others may just ignore what is going on (hello Brubaker's DD), but there is real power if numbers here.
'Bigness' also allows minor characters a chance to become something more. Thus the Avengers: Initiative series growing from the Civil War ashes. Yet what 'Bigness' does more than anything else is turn up the spotlight even higher on the big'uns. Want proof? Look no further than World War Hulk. Big Green is about to fuck shit up and by that I mean hulksmashhulksmash. Now HoM and Civil War are no true parents of WWH, but the devastated hero-scape they've left is one primed for hulkstruction. In other words no HoM no CW and as one prominent Marvel writer has already acknowledged, no dead Cap, and WWH would be shorter, less devastating or haulted altogether. This sets up my fourth point. Epic crossovers lend themselves to being followed by, you guessed it, epic crossovers. How does one re-capture reader attention after a civil war slap-fight? How about a world war? How does one up the ante on a mutant population suddenly reduced to 198 card carrying members? How about X-men: Endangered Species?
Thus it is that story-line which is the 'true' heir of HoM and Decimation. Ive recently read an excellent interview of one of the chief architects of this upcoming saga, Mike Carey. His words are much more thought provoking than any 'view-cap I might write here. And I've gleaned elsewhere that the future, i.e. beyond CW and WWH is a time for villains. Thus Endangered Species, the Initiative, and a major (if not THE major) nebulous, currently un-named epic corssover of 2008 will all feature big baddies. Sinister and the marauders return in Endangered, Eddie Brock's name is popping up everywhere, Red Skull is coming to the fore in Cap, and there is much Doom-mongering all over the place from F4 to the near future of the Mighty Avengers, a team already battling Frank Cho's Orgasmotron, I mean Ultron. And yet all this means is that Big heroes will return to fight the Big Baddies, bring on Thor, Namor and a ridiculously powerful Nova to name a few.
The future is going to get much clearer very soon. Next months' New Avengers #31 promises 'the single most important final page of any single issue Marvel publishes this year,' but will probably make things cloudier rather than clearer. June also marks the kick-off of Endangered in X-men #200 where (headline which has become obligatory to Epic Crossovers) "Somebody Dies!" And there is the goings-on in space (i.e. Annhiliation) which for the most part I remain entirely ignorant of (that might change soon). For my part I am going to avoid WWH (but will keep tabs on it somehow, RHD or wikipedia perhaps?) but I'm all in for Endangered. I already subscribe to X-men and New X-men. Grabbing a few copies of Uncanny and X-factor won't put my budget that far in the red. I still think BENDIS! and holds the reigns to the future Marvel U in his various Avengers lines, but Carey might be contributing more and more down the road. And Brubaker remains the true story-teller, somehow playing inside and outside the rules of epic crossovers at the same time. Now that's a real mark of greatness.
Here's to the future, Hellions.
Left D.
(and by that I mean today I have something very Sinister indeed to talk about. But on to him, er I mean that later...)
Howling Fiends,
Welcome. On this pentacular edition of Sinister Monday I'd like to discuss the Marvel U as a whole and where it is heading. Having relatively recently returned to comic-dom, I have Civil War to thank for anchoring me firmly in the Marvel side of the comicbook Majors. Sure, I still read my JLA/JSA/Batman books, and i peruse an indie now and again (*cough* City of Others *cough cough*) but for the most part I'm a Marvel hellhound. Much of this has to do with my re-entrance into comics coming during a Marvel epic crossover. Maybe if I'd got my collective comic shit together a year earlier it would have been Infinite Crisis that would have captured my soul and instead I'd be living in the DC. Such as it is I'm just happy to be back at all. And the point is (and yes, I'm getting to one, dammit) that huge epic crossover events have a tremendous influence on comics these days. They are able to draw new readers in, expose readers of middling experience to titles they were ignorant of or were avoiding for the wrong reasons, and in most cases up the ante on 'stakes' and quality.
Now what I mean by 'stakes' is that crossovers live and die by the success (or failure) of a Big Change. Civil War readers were livid after the 7 part series ended with very little (immediately apparent) Big Change. Of course the people that thought very little had changed were idiots, and besides, the death they were looking to stamp the Big Change happened anyways, just a few months later in the pages of a different series. Point is, crossovers have tremendous power to change, Exhibit A: The House of M. If one was to chart the current line of Marvel stories (and I will shortly), House of M has to be one of the most important fathers (or mothers seeing as M-day is mostly Wanda's fault). BENDIS!' story radically changed Marvel's mutant population and its effects are still being played out (and will continue to be, etc). Thus the second most important factor of an epic crossover is the germination of new stories. House of M bore much fruit. mmmm... I could sure go for a nice depowered Magnetorange right about now.
Readers are just beginning to see the 'germination' ability of an epic crossover following Millar's opus. Marvel wasn't exactly coy when it said Civil War's main role would be a supporting one. The Superhuman Registration Act does change things significantly (any doubters just focus your eyes on Spidey) but it is the fall out of the war that has really begun to take the Marvel U in wonderfully interesting directions. And now for the first part of a (somewhat half-assed) chart.
Okay so I already know that for all intents and purposes this chart can be begun further back than where I am starting. After all this is comicbooks and everything's got continuity, right? But for our purposes House of M is the Grand Pere. HoM leads to Decimation. Now the mutants being all fucked over leaves them a non-factor when Civil War crops up. yet there non-participation makes HoM important to Civil War in a negative sense. How would that war have gone if (and thats a big if seeing as Xavier's students probably wouldn't have participated anyways, seeing as they were not exactly beloved by humanity before HoM) say Wolverine or perhaps a depowered but always wonderful field martial Cyclops played a part? At any rate these first few chart connections illustrate a third major component of a crossover. They are important merely for their own bigness of scope. There are few characters who remain uneffected (hell you'd need to be in deep space... I'm talking to you Banner/Rider). This may spell continuity hell for some writers, and others may just ignore what is going on (hello Brubaker's DD), but there is real power if numbers here.
'Bigness' also allows minor characters a chance to become something more. Thus the Avengers: Initiative series growing from the Civil War ashes. Yet what 'Bigness' does more than anything else is turn up the spotlight even higher on the big'uns. Want proof? Look no further than World War Hulk. Big Green is about to fuck shit up and by that I mean hulksmashhulksmash. Now HoM and Civil War are no true parents of WWH, but the devastated hero-scape they've left is one primed for hulkstruction. In other words no HoM no CW and as one prominent Marvel writer has already acknowledged, no dead Cap, and WWH would be shorter, less devastating or haulted altogether. This sets up my fourth point. Epic crossovers lend themselves to being followed by, you guessed it, epic crossovers. How does one re-capture reader attention after a civil war slap-fight? How about a world war? How does one up the ante on a mutant population suddenly reduced to 198 card carrying members? How about X-men: Endangered Species?
Thus it is that story-line which is the 'true' heir of HoM and Decimation. Ive recently read an excellent interview of one of the chief architects of this upcoming saga, Mike Carey. His words are much more thought provoking than any 'view-cap I might write here. And I've gleaned elsewhere that the future, i.e. beyond CW and WWH is a time for villains. Thus Endangered Species, the Initiative, and a major (if not THE major) nebulous, currently un-named epic corssover of 2008 will all feature big baddies. Sinister and the marauders return in Endangered, Eddie Brock's name is popping up everywhere, Red Skull is coming to the fore in Cap, and there is much Doom-mongering all over the place from F4 to the near future of the Mighty Avengers, a team already battling Frank Cho's Orgasmotron, I mean Ultron. And yet all this means is that Big heroes will return to fight the Big Baddies, bring on Thor, Namor and a ridiculously powerful Nova to name a few.
The future is going to get much clearer very soon. Next months' New Avengers #31 promises 'the single most important final page of any single issue Marvel publishes this year,' but will probably make things cloudier rather than clearer. June also marks the kick-off of Endangered in X-men #200 where (headline which has become obligatory to Epic Crossovers) "Somebody Dies!" And there is the goings-on in space (i.e. Annhiliation) which for the most part I remain entirely ignorant of (that might change soon). For my part I am going to avoid WWH (but will keep tabs on it somehow, RHD or wikipedia perhaps?) but I'm all in for Endangered. I already subscribe to X-men and New X-men. Grabbing a few copies of Uncanny and X-factor won't put my budget that far in the red. I still think BENDIS! and holds the reigns to the future Marvel U in his various Avengers lines, but Carey might be contributing more and more down the road. And Brubaker remains the true story-teller, somehow playing inside and outside the rules of epic crossovers at the same time. Now that's a real mark of greatness.
Here's to the future, Hellions.
Left D.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Zombie isn't just a drink anymore
“They're coming to get you Barbara. They're coming to get you.”
Since then its all been downhill basically. Don't get me wrong, I love zombie films, from Day of the Dead to Zombi I love every shambling example from sharks vs. zombie to eye gouging gone really slow. What I'm talking about is the absolute overabundance of crappy, quickly pumped out zombie comic books. The independent publishers seem to love this genre since all you have to do to write one is take a group of people, stick them in some semi-isolated place and then just let the zombies roll over the dumbasses. Few people create these half rotting reads correctly and copious groups just cash in on the craptacular. Typically, anything with “Revenge” or “Attack of” at the beginning of the title with a fully dead, half undressed, lumbering necrophilia pin up girl on the cover should be avoided at all costs. Hell, I'll even go so far as endorsing the mass burning of these dead rags, but for the love of god, please don't pay for them.
That’s not to say that all zombie comics are horrible wastes of time like those discussed above were they human should be drug out into the street and shot for being so damned offensive to all 5 senses. Zombie comics can be and are some of the best and most entertaining items to be found at your local crack house/comic book store. The Walking Dead is one of the most critically acclaimed comics being published today and it’s an indie. Marvel Zombies vs. Army of Darkness is all good campy fun with the previous incarnation of Marvel Zombies being great and Army of Darkness a quick, fun read. I have nothing bad to say about any of these comic adaptations. If all zombie comics were this good I could easily drop a C-note at the comic shop and be ok with it each and every month. Sadly this isn’t the case.
Settling for mediocre artwork and recycled plots, most comic publishers are just seeing how many issues they can move to the unsuspecting fan boy who can’t help himself (not herself: lets not kid ourselves dear reader). It’s with this in mind that I can only predict the eventual fall of zombies in comics. At some point the zombie comic sub-community will crash under the sheer shitty weight of these 30 page, horribly written, though sometimes, I’ll admit, expertly drawn (Avatar’s Escape of the Living Dead, IDW’s Zombies!), undead rags. That collapse could kill certain comics like the aforementioned Walking Dead. I can’t with good conscience let that happen without saying something… or drinking… or taking a bribe to shut the fuck up. I’m talking to you Marvel and D.C..
Boycott these comics. They hold nothing for you, only hart break, sorrow, and the occasional naked boob. Ok so they hold something for you but not much. What I’m trying to advocate here is that everyone should stop buying shitty zombie comics to send a message to the publishers; we want good zombie comics, not this ichor scrapped from a reanimated corpse that is then slapped on paper and sold to us. Now remember, only you can prevent shitty zombie comics, reader, only you.
Since then its all been downhill basically. Don't get me wrong, I love zombie films, from Day of the Dead to Zombi I love every shambling example from sharks vs. zombie to eye gouging gone really slow. What I'm talking about is the absolute overabundance of crappy, quickly pumped out zombie comic books. The independent publishers seem to love this genre since all you have to do to write one is take a group of people, stick them in some semi-isolated place and then just let the zombies roll over the dumbasses. Few people create these half rotting reads correctly and copious groups just cash in on the craptacular. Typically, anything with “Revenge” or “Attack of” at the beginning of the title with a fully dead, half undressed, lumbering necrophilia pin up girl on the cover should be avoided at all costs. Hell, I'll even go so far as endorsing the mass burning of these dead rags, but for the love of god, please don't pay for them.
That’s not to say that all zombie comics are horrible wastes of time like those discussed above were they human should be drug out into the street and shot for being so damned offensive to all 5 senses. Zombie comics can be and are some of the best and most entertaining items to be found at your local crack house/comic book store. The Walking Dead is one of the most critically acclaimed comics being published today and it’s an indie. Marvel Zombies vs. Army of Darkness is all good campy fun with the previous incarnation of Marvel Zombies being great and Army of Darkness a quick, fun read. I have nothing bad to say about any of these comic adaptations. If all zombie comics were this good I could easily drop a C-note at the comic shop and be ok with it each and every month. Sadly this isn’t the case.
Settling for mediocre artwork and recycled plots, most comic publishers are just seeing how many issues they can move to the unsuspecting fan boy who can’t help himself (not herself: lets not kid ourselves dear reader). It’s with this in mind that I can only predict the eventual fall of zombies in comics. At some point the zombie comic sub-community will crash under the sheer shitty weight of these 30 page, horribly written, though sometimes, I’ll admit, expertly drawn (Avatar’s Escape of the Living Dead, IDW’s Zombies!), undead rags. That collapse could kill certain comics like the aforementioned Walking Dead. I can’t with good conscience let that happen without saying something… or drinking… or taking a bribe to shut the fuck up. I’m talking to you Marvel and D.C..
Boycott these comics. They hold nothing for you, only hart break, sorrow, and the occasional naked boob. Ok so they hold something for you but not much. What I’m trying to advocate here is that everyone should stop buying shitty zombie comics to send a message to the publishers; we want good zombie comics, not this ichor scrapped from a reanimated corpse that is then slapped on paper and sold to us. Now remember, only you can prevent shitty zombie comics, reader, only you.
TGIC #4
So...two review, right? Um, that clearly didn't happen...and you'd think I would've learned not to make promises by now. Well, it certainly won't happen again. Promise.
Speaking of Banners, word has it that the whole World War Hulk (and it must be italicized, emboldened, and in a larger font as befits a series that will witness an ungodsly quantity of “Hulk Smash!!!” On a related note, on your next visit to the Underworld do bear in mind that you should never give RHD any whiskey after midnight: he starts to think he is el Green Skinned not-so-friendly-giant and steps on things smaller than he is...like LeftD's first generation harpsiPod. You might notice that this rule bears a striking resemblance to those stated in Gremlins...let's just say someone didn't take as deep a swig from Lethe as they were supposed to and we've never seen a single Zeusdamn royalty from it. Oh, crap, this was a paranthetical thought wasn't it. Um...claptu berata nicto!!!) extravaganza hits sometime soon. Can't honestly say how I feel about this other than a certain sense of well-being that this “major” event doesn't take over the lives of every other comic. Marvel seems to have developed a sense of restraint that, if nothing else, doesn't screw with storylines and creative teams too terribly much. Now if only they could tame that exploitive, buy-every-comic-that-came-out-this- month-if-you-want-any-sense-of-what-the-hell-is-going-on drive. Probably a pipe dream to even pretend that that could happen.
Still, though, I can't get too worked up over World War Hulk if only because I have no idea what the Hulk's deal is these days. Near as I can tell, he never reverts back to Banner, something which I would guess could only weaken the character. Then again who am I to judge? I only eat the souls of the damned, not judge the relative virtues and vices of the Hulk in his rainbow skin-toned incarnations. Honestly, he does deserve a little justice on the various members of the Illuminati, even if they only end up in body casts, not down our way like he so clearly wants. Marvel is about as likely to do lasting damage to any of these guys as they were going to leave el Hulko on an alien planet and out of the mix.
Bringing the Hulk back and all the property damage his presence entails does put the Marvel editors to an interesting test. In the wake of Civil War an emphasis was definitely placed on the role and impact of the empowered individual in the world. The splash pages detailing the damage wrought by the heroes' battle in NYC made this clear. How, then, will the Hulk leveling, say, Iowa, be dealt with? For that matter, how will they handle the aftereffects of Hottie-Ultron and her...its...whatever's assault on the world's weather systems? The odd panel here or there of recovery efforts led by whomever could easily cover this, but I almost suspect that by the comic equivalent of the next day everything will look fine with all the damage undone. Normally I wouldn't care, but Marvel brought this on themselves by launching the Civil War in the first place. They've kinda set a standard for real world effects that they must adhere to unless they want to lose all credibility.
Similarly, I wonder (brought on by LeftD's musings) at the various timescales at work in this newly ordered Marvel. Generally speaking the X-Men run on a different schedule insofar as what happened when in relation to everyone else (like the Fantastic Four), but the net has been drawn in tighter and if Marvel wants to use Wolverine in a number of books, I wouldn't mind the occasional explanation as to when he avenges and when he eXes. I don't expect it will ever be the case that such due diligence will be the standard, but, hey, a hellhound has to have something to complain about, right?
In saying that, though, I think it's important to remember that one of the strengths of the comic genre is the levels of inconsistency. If every book is great – perfect art, iconic and important tales the norm, and a persistently tightly woven universe – I think we'd all get bored pretty fast. Plus, fanboys would lose all contact with other human beings as there'd be nothing left to say, nothing left to dissect; Poseidon knows we can't let that happen...they might start breeding otherwise. In all seriousness, the fact that there are certain “great” writers and certain “bad” writers (who still, somehow, get work?!) means that a weak story arc can be followed by a strong one, a strong one viewed for its importance by comparison to the weak. Being serialized, comics can always come back next month and absolutely blow you away, kick your ass from here to Atlantis (our version of Timbuktu). What other genre gets that second, third, fourth chance? Try writing a novel, failing, and getting that second chance from readers. Not bloody likely, eh? So while I criticize, I'm not suggesting a movement toward perfection. For starters, perfection is kinda in the eye of the hellish beholder and secondly, any art that achieves perfection, an apex of sorts, is a pretty dull one and soon to be dead. So, again, I criticize as a way of giving praise to the noteworthy and damning the execrable...and to hear my own voice (but you already knew that).
Next week, some other random thoughts and maybe a review. Who knows? I sure don't. Until then, I remain your filth-ridden and nausea-inducing-breathed voice of middle-dogged reason,
cenTrale
Sunday, May 20, 2007
sinister monday #4
No stranger to fires (infernal or otherwise) this hound-dog's ears are still ringing with the dulcet jingling and jangling of last evening's arcade fire concerto at the chicago theater. Because chicago is surprisingly a short trip away from the nearest hellmouth (I'm talking to you, Gary, Indiana) and because I'm no one dimensional beast. I like my music (and my sports) as well as my funny-pages. But that's neither here nor there. You've dropped by because you like comics. I say bully for you. So enough about power chords and pop flies. On with the show.
Yesterday i paid a rather belated visit to the LCS. Belated because I usually drop in on thursday or friday but i suppose it wasn't all that late when you consider how often RHD and El CenTrale get their collective ass in gear. When i got there I found quite a stack waiting for me, with DC leading the way. Some JLA, some Countdown, some Fables and a Bat. Marvel's Mighty Avengers and Image's Madman's Atomic Comics! (their exclamation, not mine) rounded out the haul. Because of the aforementioned concert I've only managed to read the Batman. But oh what goodness remains:
a) JLA: smack dab in the Lightning Saga. joy. So what if this is the lesser of the two teams participating (take that, Clark, Bruce, and whateverthefuck Wonder Woman's real name is).
b) Mighty Avengers. I'll admit. I'm only in this for the T & A. Why else buy anything Cho does? You mean to say there is a story going on? But look over there at Lady Ultron all sexy and lethal (as every good woman should be). if only those convenient puffs of mist or fog that float about her unmentionable parts would just evaporate already.
c) Fables. Its fucking Fables.
and so forth.
-----
random insertion:
I've been re-watching the ole Buffy the Vampire Slayer series via the godsend that is netflix. I remember the first season (it came out when I was a senior in highschool) but everything thereafter i picked up in a scattered, incomplete way. For instance right now me and the Siren are toward the end of Season 2 and I'm bewildered by how much depth there was that i never had a clue of. Going to college was fun and all, but dammit all those books (and in my case, slide-rules) got in the way of my shows. Soon after i began matriculating i lost track of all of my favorites, the Simpsons, Buffy, and on and on. Now I'm catching up.
The Siren wasn't so slip-shod. She's also younger than me, and watced at least the first 2 seasons before hitting the U. So when time came for Angel to (spoiler alert? is this really a spoiler at this point?) go bad, she was already pouting. That event marks the beginning of the end for her Buffy trist, even though the show went on for years and years and got emmys and critical acclaim and feminist dissertations and things. And don't get her started about the whole Willow is a lesbian thing. Wait, what? Willow is a lesbian!? *sigh* Anyhow, I only bring all this up because I hear the new Buffy Season 8 comic series is fab. Won't find me reading it until I finish season 7 tho. And that might take years. okay, you got me, months. Alright, i get it. you know I have no life. I'll finish it next week.
-----
So back to the pretty pictures. I'm about at wit's end regarding Grant Morrison's Batman. I just don't like it. I loved Morrison's Invisibles (or the first 3 trade collections anyways) and I'm told I would like We3. I'm also told that his X-men run was mediocre. maybe the dude just needs his own characters to play with, or lesser known characters that the big 2 won't care that he fucks around with, like Animal Man. I am just not sold on Morrison's ability to 'play within the rules' which is an absolute neccessity when it comes to major icons of the super-hero variety. Morrison is just too pig-headed, too 'chaos magician-y', in short, too Grant Morrison. Now Batman #665 wasn't bad, but it just seems uninspired, like we're treading water or something. How about getting a newer(ish) writer for the Bat? Somebody with low expectations, who can make a name for themselves? Instead of giving it to a guy with a huge name who can only acheive a passing grade if not a solid D because his star is already so bright (it hurts my eyes, just supernova yourself, already).
look, I'm not asking DC to just hand the damn title off all willy-nilly (ha!) to the next rube with a Batman story. But c'mon man, we deserve better.
See y'all next week for a shit-ton of three-sentence howls and maybe a full length review. We'll see what El CenTrale does. 'Cause anything he can do i can do halfway.
Ciao!
LeftD
Yesterday i paid a rather belated visit to the LCS. Belated because I usually drop in on thursday or friday but i suppose it wasn't all that late when you consider how often RHD and El CenTrale get their collective ass in gear. When i got there I found quite a stack waiting for me, with DC leading the way. Some JLA, some Countdown, some Fables and a Bat. Marvel's Mighty Avengers and Image's Madman's Atomic Comics! (their exclamation, not mine) rounded out the haul. Because of the aforementioned concert I've only managed to read the Batman. But oh what goodness remains:
a) JLA: smack dab in the Lightning Saga. joy. So what if this is the lesser of the two teams participating (take that, Clark, Bruce, and whateverthefuck Wonder Woman's real name is).
b) Mighty Avengers. I'll admit. I'm only in this for the T & A. Why else buy anything Cho does? You mean to say there is a story going on? But look over there at Lady Ultron all sexy and lethal (as every good woman should be). if only those convenient puffs of mist or fog that float about her unmentionable parts would just evaporate already.
c) Fables. Its fucking Fables.
and so forth.
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random insertion:
I've been re-watching the ole Buffy the Vampire Slayer series via the godsend that is netflix. I remember the first season (it came out when I was a senior in highschool) but everything thereafter i picked up in a scattered, incomplete way. For instance right now me and the Siren are toward the end of Season 2 and I'm bewildered by how much depth there was that i never had a clue of. Going to college was fun and all, but dammit all those books (and in my case, slide-rules) got in the way of my shows. Soon after i began matriculating i lost track of all of my favorites, the Simpsons, Buffy, and on and on. Now I'm catching up.
The Siren wasn't so slip-shod. She's also younger than me, and watced at least the first 2 seasons before hitting the U. So when time came for Angel to (spoiler alert? is this really a spoiler at this point?) go bad, she was already pouting. That event marks the beginning of the end for her Buffy trist, even though the show went on for years and years and got emmys and critical acclaim and feminist dissertations and things. And don't get her started about the whole Willow is a lesbian thing. Wait, what? Willow is a lesbian!? *sigh* Anyhow, I only bring all this up because I hear the new Buffy Season 8 comic series is fab. Won't find me reading it until I finish season 7 tho. And that might take years. okay, you got me, months. Alright, i get it. you know I have no life. I'll finish it next week.
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So back to the pretty pictures. I'm about at wit's end regarding Grant Morrison's Batman. I just don't like it. I loved Morrison's Invisibles (or the first 3 trade collections anyways) and I'm told I would like We3. I'm also told that his X-men run was mediocre. maybe the dude just needs his own characters to play with, or lesser known characters that the big 2 won't care that he fucks around with, like Animal Man. I am just not sold on Morrison's ability to 'play within the rules' which is an absolute neccessity when it comes to major icons of the super-hero variety. Morrison is just too pig-headed, too 'chaos magician-y', in short, too Grant Morrison. Now Batman #665 wasn't bad, but it just seems uninspired, like we're treading water or something. How about getting a newer(ish) writer for the Bat? Somebody with low expectations, who can make a name for themselves? Instead of giving it to a guy with a huge name who can only acheive a passing grade if not a solid D because his star is already so bright (it hurts my eyes, just supernova yourself, already).
look, I'm not asking DC to just hand the damn title off all willy-nilly (ha!) to the next rube with a Batman story. But c'mon man, we deserve better.
See y'all next week for a shit-ton of three-sentence howls and maybe a full length review. We'll see what El CenTrale does. 'Cause anything he can do i can do halfway.
Ciao!
LeftD
Friday, May 18, 2007
TGIC #3
Well, after probably more than a month away, RHD and I made a successful return to Ye Olde Local Comic Shoppe. Zeus, I missed it so. As one might expect, though, the hurt was put on my bank account in a major way; kinda gives a bit of perspective on just how much I’m dropping on a regular basis. Also, a number of my collections are now incomplete, which, I shan’t lie, is rather irritating. It’ll probably take me the next month or so to catch up, but such is the way of things when one shirks responsibilities as thoroughly and willy-nilly as I have (and I dare LeftD to use “willy-nilly” in a post in a more natural or appropriate manner; gauntlet = down). The plus side to all of this? Next week, you’ll be getting at least two actual reviews of the lengthy and verbose variety. I know you’re pissing your pants in excitement…or RHD just looked over your way with that hungry leer in his eyes.
____________
So…Spider-Man 3. I suppose I should at least briefly touch on that monstrosity.
Let me begin by apologizing for my pre-mature versification. I swear to Ares that hasn’t happened since that one time in college with the Midgard serpent. Plus, the little ditty was the sum total of my creative energy allotment for the month and I blew it on
As for the movie itself, I’m not sure how much I can add. My brother heads have done an excellent job of picking it apart like the rib cages of the damned, while the members of the media with their heads screwed on straight have similarly vivisected this poor excuse for a movie to the extent that we’re all pretty numb to the sight of that particular open viscera. Nonetheless, here are a few disjointed and generally unedited thoughts on that waste of a Skittle-eating experience:
1). So you’re saying Peter/Spidey didn’t change at all? It’s been bashed into our skulls that this is a trilogy and, obviously, this movie completes the movement. The problem is, it seems like there’s been no real movement over time other than backwards. At the end of the second film, Peter reaches a certain comfort point within the context of his life as both Parker and Spider-Man. I’ll grant you that Mary Jane’s expression at the end of that film did set-up what was to come this time around, but Peter’s attitude and actions in this entry are, to say the least, mind-boggling. Suddenly everything is so great that he can’t possibly see how unhappy Mary Jane is? He wouldn’t explain to her what happened with Norman Osborn, if only so she understood the tensions with Harry? It’s as though after everything they’ve been through he can’t tell her anything about his life except how tough it can be to be Spider-Man and how he totally understands what she’s going through. Here I thought he’s the smartest guy in his class.
B). We were provided with absolutely no context as to why the Black Suit felt so good. Nothing was done to explain that he might be stronger with it other than an ability to hit Sandman harder. The spider-sense never came into play at any earlier point, so the whole idea that he can’t sense Venom coming doesn’t factor in at all. Plus, this whole “sound hurts it” approach, while accurate to the comics, is undermined by a similarly poor exposition. Yeah, he bangs into a bell and the resulting gong causes the suit to freak out and lose control. Got that. Yet what about the aforementioned fight with Sandman in the subway? Lots of noise there, in fact noise crossing a number of frequencies and wavelengths, yet no suit freak out? I’ll grant you that it could be that the low frequencies or heavy bass is the problematic range of sound (good thing Mary Jane didn’t become a singer-waitress at a rave or drum-and-bass club), but, again, the audience is never given any kind of explanation that satisfies a suspension of disbelief. That whole end fight just seemed like a quick wrap to a half-assed story.
III). I’m’a end with this one or I might never stop: Why have Sandman in the film at all? Don’t get me wrong, I rather enjoyed the performance and the effects were nifty, but if he only got about ten lines total and is largely missing for the majority of the film, what was the point? The same could be said of Venom, but the Eddie Brock storyline actually mattered a bit more, or, at least, was a good deal more visible. In films past, some sort of emotional unveiling always kicked in at the end, something of a fitting explication of the thread running throughout the film. And in previous films it did not seem at all forced. At all. Here, we get beat over the head with guilt and blah blah blah. Honestly, stop. When you can’t convey the major emotion of a film without a lot of man-crying, hand-wringing and I-forgive-you-which-means-I-forgive-myself, start over. Seriously, salt the earth and start over a bit further down the river. You know, further away from This Really Sucksville. A more friendly reading of the film would suggest a maturation process taking place throughout the series (thus suggesting that only now is Peter Spider-MAN), yet such a reading would be inappropriate and actually do violence to what was on-screen (not that violence is not uncalled for).
To sum up, when faced with a fall from the Brooklyn Bridge, I’m not thinking of you Pete, not you. Maybe Lefty, probably not Righty.
____________
A final thought or two and I should be done (and getting back to work).
I recently got into X-Factor and must say I’m the better hellhound for it. Here is a series that juggles the story arc and single issue format incredibly well, delivering great comic writing and moving the series forward without causing harm to, you know, the main characters and what they have become/are established as. (You here that Williams?! Yeah, you TAD: STOP FUCKING UP!!!!!) Further, this is a series that is actually dealing with the fallout from M-Day within the larger context of the Marvel Universe without going into space or turning in uneven issues. Eventually, X-Factor will be one of those titles that gets involved with every other title in that wholesome, let’s-push-the-story-forward kind of way, rather than the slutty, this-is-key-to-the-whole-next-year-but-not way that seems to be so popular in the wake of a major event. Anyways, read it and I assure you good times will be had by all.
Also, Immortal Iron Fist and The Spirit will be the last items I read from my weekly stack from now on. Why? ‘Cause they give me hope that this medium can consistently turn out fantastic material for wildly different reasons. Upon finishing Iron Fist, I simply exhale and go, “Wow, that was great.” (Great = damn cool here.) After finishing a The Spirit, I let my head roll back (can’t really go to either side or one of the carrion-eaters hanging out there will take this as an invitation to talk to me; we have very specific ground rules on when that can happen and after The Spirit is not one of those times) and say, “Wow, that was great.” (Great = one of the consistently best things I’ve ever read.) This is true of a number of series (DMZ and Fables come to mind off the top of my head), but I just thought I’d give these two a couple well-deserved bark-outs.
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And with that, I’m spent. I hope we all had a good time reading this. I certainly enjoyed the quite time it entailed (a little Decemberists and Arcade Fire in the background, no co-workers and no shoulder-inhabiting heads whining in my ears). Next week will be HUGE, so check in regularly. Oh, and Lefty? Don’t ever try and take my prop (i.e., long-winded and verbose) again or so help me, that iPod gets fed to RHD. Just remember that you both continue to reside on either side of me only by my sufferance and that alone. Snootch.
Until next time faithful readers, I remain death-breathedly yours,
cenTrale
____________
So…Spider-Man 3. I suppose I should at least briefly touch on that monstrosity.
Let me begin by apologizing for my pre-mature versification. I swear to Ares that hasn’t happened since that one time in college with the Midgard serpent. Plus, the little ditty was the sum total of my creative energy allotment for the month and I blew it on
As for the movie itself, I’m not sure how much I can add. My brother heads have done an excellent job of picking it apart like the rib cages of the damned, while the members of the media with their heads screwed on straight have similarly vivisected this poor excuse for a movie to the extent that we’re all pretty numb to the sight of that particular open viscera. Nonetheless, here are a few disjointed and generally unedited thoughts on that waste of a Skittle-eating experience:
1). So you’re saying Peter/Spidey didn’t change at all? It’s been bashed into our skulls that this is a trilogy and, obviously, this movie completes the movement. The problem is, it seems like there’s been no real movement over time other than backwards. At the end of the second film, Peter reaches a certain comfort point within the context of his life as both Parker and Spider-Man. I’ll grant you that Mary Jane’s expression at the end of that film did set-up what was to come this time around, but Peter’s attitude and actions in this entry are, to say the least, mind-boggling. Suddenly everything is so great that he can’t possibly see how unhappy Mary Jane is? He wouldn’t explain to her what happened with Norman Osborn, if only so she understood the tensions with Harry? It’s as though after everything they’ve been through he can’t tell her anything about his life except how tough it can be to be Spider-Man and how he totally understands what she’s going through. Here I thought he’s the smartest guy in his class.
B). We were provided with absolutely no context as to why the Black Suit felt so good. Nothing was done to explain that he might be stronger with it other than an ability to hit Sandman harder. The spider-sense never came into play at any earlier point, so the whole idea that he can’t sense Venom coming doesn’t factor in at all. Plus, this whole “sound hurts it” approach, while accurate to the comics, is undermined by a similarly poor exposition. Yeah, he bangs into a bell and the resulting gong causes the suit to freak out and lose control. Got that. Yet what about the aforementioned fight with Sandman in the subway? Lots of noise there, in fact noise crossing a number of frequencies and wavelengths, yet no suit freak out? I’ll grant you that it could be that the low frequencies or heavy bass is the problematic range of sound (good thing Mary Jane didn’t become a singer-waitress at a rave or drum-and-bass club), but, again, the audience is never given any kind of explanation that satisfies a suspension of disbelief. That whole end fight just seemed like a quick wrap to a half-assed story.
III). I’m’a end with this one or I might never stop: Why have Sandman in the film at all? Don’t get me wrong, I rather enjoyed the performance and the effects were nifty, but if he only got about ten lines total and is largely missing for the majority of the film, what was the point? The same could be said of Venom, but the Eddie Brock storyline actually mattered a bit more, or, at least, was a good deal more visible. In films past, some sort of emotional unveiling always kicked in at the end, something of a fitting explication of the thread running throughout the film. And in previous films it did not seem at all forced. At all. Here, we get beat over the head with guilt and blah blah blah. Honestly, stop. When you can’t convey the major emotion of a film without a lot of man-crying, hand-wringing and I-forgive-you-which-means-I-forgive-myself, start over. Seriously, salt the earth and start over a bit further down the river. You know, further away from This Really Sucksville. A more friendly reading of the film would suggest a maturation process taking place throughout the series (thus suggesting that only now is Peter Spider-MAN), yet such a reading would be inappropriate and actually do violence to what was on-screen (not that violence is not uncalled for).
To sum up, when faced with a fall from the Brooklyn Bridge, I’m not thinking of you Pete, not you. Maybe Lefty, probably not Righty.
____________
A final thought or two and I should be done (and getting back to work).
I recently got into X-Factor and must say I’m the better hellhound for it. Here is a series that juggles the story arc and single issue format incredibly well, delivering great comic writing and moving the series forward without causing harm to, you know, the main characters and what they have become/are established as. (You here that Williams?! Yeah, you TAD: STOP FUCKING UP!!!!!) Further, this is a series that is actually dealing with the fallout from M-Day within the larger context of the Marvel Universe without going into space or turning in uneven issues. Eventually, X-Factor will be one of those titles that gets involved with every other title in that wholesome, let’s-push-the-story-forward kind of way, rather than the slutty, this-is-key-to-the-whole-next-year-but-not way that seems to be so popular in the wake of a major event. Anyways, read it and I assure you good times will be had by all.
Also, Immortal Iron Fist and The Spirit will be the last items I read from my weekly stack from now on. Why? ‘Cause they give me hope that this medium can consistently turn out fantastic material for wildly different reasons. Upon finishing Iron Fist, I simply exhale and go, “Wow, that was great.” (Great = damn cool here.) After finishing a The Spirit, I let my head roll back (can’t really go to either side or one of the carrion-eaters hanging out there will take this as an invitation to talk to me; we have very specific ground rules on when that can happen and after The Spirit is not one of those times) and say, “Wow, that was great.” (Great = one of the consistently best things I’ve ever read.) This is true of a number of series (DMZ and Fables come to mind off the top of my head), but I just thought I’d give these two a couple well-deserved bark-outs.
___________
And with that, I’m spent. I hope we all had a good time reading this. I certainly enjoyed the quite time it entailed (a little Decemberists and Arcade Fire in the background, no co-workers and no shoulder-inhabiting heads whining in my ears). Next week will be HUGE, so check in regularly. Oh, and Lefty? Don’t ever try and take my prop (i.e., long-winded and verbose) again or so help me, that iPod gets fed to RHD. Just remember that you both continue to reside on either side of me only by my sufferance and that alone. Snootch.
Until next time faithful readers, I remain death-breathedly yours,
cenTrale
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Blood Nation the whole 4 part series
All people responsible for this crime against comics are having their names withheld because I just don’t care enough to mention them here.
If you read my last post about this series you’ll remember that I didn’t have any problem with the story and had a huge problem with the artwork, or at least what they were calling artwork at the time. Well I’ve now read all four parts… That’s about all I really want to say but I’m gonna take one for the team and write a full review for this steaming pile, only because I don’t want anyone wasting their money on it, sigh.
The story is where I think I’ll start my deconstruction of excrement. I still maintain that the first part was OK. The story was interesting, the characters were a little one-dimensional but that can be overlooked since most of the story was just trying to lay as much history as it possibly could before the second issue started up. The second issue is reasonably OK. Most of the time is spent showing a new group of soldiers coming together under the main characters unique command, no real story is forwarded that much, save for an interesting scene of vampire chimps. Third issue in I began to think someone decided that they were in a hurry to get as much story as possible done. It didn’t occur to anyone that plot holes and a convoluted story might damage any chance at a solid issue. The fourth issue comes and more of the third issue is introduced. The ending makes no sense and leaves off with a cliffhanger that no one cares to see continue, especially considering I stopped caring halfway into the third issue. The real crime here is that a solid four part arc could have been made but I get the feeling the writer was pissed that he only had 4 issues. Maybe with 6 or 10 he would have produced a comic that didn’t give me indigestion.
I wish that were the worst part of the comic. I really do. But the artwork continued to be just as shitty from the first comic. At one point I think the inker and colorist went out back behind the studio and started huffing paint thinner. They became so uninvolved with the characters that instead of drawing the proper attire for Siberian bound soldiers they all end up in one-piece leotards. The landscapes continue to be under drawn, the shadows continue to be incorrect, and the colors are as wrong as sleeping with your sister. All that and the artwork could have been completed by an 8th grader with poor motor skills. Yep kiddies this one is a winner for sure. Insert audible sigh here.
I hate admitting when I’m wrong. I had high hopes for this comic, despite the art, ink, and color. I advise anyone who is even thinking that I’m partially wrong to put his or her own eyes out before reading this series and just have someone else read it to you. That’s the only way you will get an objective look at the story line, pun intended.
Overall Ranking Joe Camel, I think this one gave me cataracts. I can’t even get a good hate up about this rag.
If you read my last post about this series you’ll remember that I didn’t have any problem with the story and had a huge problem with the artwork, or at least what they were calling artwork at the time. Well I’ve now read all four parts… That’s about all I really want to say but I’m gonna take one for the team and write a full review for this steaming pile, only because I don’t want anyone wasting their money on it, sigh.
The story is where I think I’ll start my deconstruction of excrement. I still maintain that the first part was OK. The story was interesting, the characters were a little one-dimensional but that can be overlooked since most of the story was just trying to lay as much history as it possibly could before the second issue started up. The second issue is reasonably OK. Most of the time is spent showing a new group of soldiers coming together under the main characters unique command, no real story is forwarded that much, save for an interesting scene of vampire chimps. Third issue in I began to think someone decided that they were in a hurry to get as much story as possible done. It didn’t occur to anyone that plot holes and a convoluted story might damage any chance at a solid issue. The fourth issue comes and more of the third issue is introduced. The ending makes no sense and leaves off with a cliffhanger that no one cares to see continue, especially considering I stopped caring halfway into the third issue. The real crime here is that a solid four part arc could have been made but I get the feeling the writer was pissed that he only had 4 issues. Maybe with 6 or 10 he would have produced a comic that didn’t give me indigestion.
I wish that were the worst part of the comic. I really do. But the artwork continued to be just as shitty from the first comic. At one point I think the inker and colorist went out back behind the studio and started huffing paint thinner. They became so uninvolved with the characters that instead of drawing the proper attire for Siberian bound soldiers they all end up in one-piece leotards. The landscapes continue to be under drawn, the shadows continue to be incorrect, and the colors are as wrong as sleeping with your sister. All that and the artwork could have been completed by an 8th grader with poor motor skills. Yep kiddies this one is a winner for sure. Insert audible sigh here.
I hate admitting when I’m wrong. I had high hopes for this comic, despite the art, ink, and color. I advise anyone who is even thinking that I’m partially wrong to put his or her own eyes out before reading this series and just have someone else read it to you. That’s the only way you will get an objective look at the story line, pun intended.
Overall Ranking Joe Camel, I think this one gave me cataracts. I can’t even get a good hate up about this rag.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Sinister Monday #3
The Cerberus has been quiet for the past week, perhaps licking the wounds we incurred at the Spider-Debacle. I myself missed a self-imposed deadline and Sinister Monday passed by sans posting, alas. Then my fellow curs were silent and you our loyal readers were left shivering in the cold. Well, this post included, I have managed to give you all something to read 3 out of the first 4 weeks, a production schedule that would put most comics to shame, eat my dust Kirkman and mcNiven, although I would already have been lapped by the mighty DC force of 52/Countdown. But enough logistics, flag waving, excuse-giving and horn-tooting. Though I'm not quite as taciturn (or belligerent) as dear dear Right Head o' Death, I am nowhere near as verbose as El Centrale. Today... I will give the latter a run for his money, I've got lots to say. Forgive me in advance for the pseudo-rambling style of this post. Please feel free to comment on any and all thoughts, for your sake I will try to keep things as organized as possible.
1. The Week That Was
My charming Siren's birthday fell upon this past Friday and in commemoration of this fact i left the other hounds in Chicago and journeyed with my lady to picturesque Mizzou. The day before we left I dropped by the LCS and picked up whatever titles my good lads had been keeping for me. To this end I have glorious news:
I now Have a complete run of the Fables series. Including the Last Castle One Shot. You have no idea the happiness this fact brings me. Now I must add, all is not done in fabletown. A few of the issues I have are in less than Mint condition and i will track down replacements leisurely, I may spring for the Maleev varient #1, and my issues 28 and 29 are signed by the Artist, Tony Akins, but I may want to get unsigned copies too. Fables, (and to a very large extent, the Sandman) is a huge reason I've gotten back into comics. Willingham re-opened the door for me and it is unlikely I will ever look back. Thanks Bill. Look what you did, goddamit.
2. City of Others
One of the titles I picked up on Thursday was a gem of an issue, City of Others #2. Written by Steve Niles and penciled by Bernie Wrightson, this title is going to be a BIG deal. I gave RHD a taste of the first issue and thought he might do a review for us here at the Cerb but he passed, though if i remember correctly his praise was high. The protagonist 'Blud,' is right up Righty's alley (and what a dark and sordid alley that is). This is horror comics at its finest, pulpy no holds barred serial style stories the kind you might find filmed in black and white on a local public broadcast channel or told aloud on NPR after midnight in October. of course those mediums would put a damper on this new series' most wonderful feature, Wrightson's amazing pencils.
They are nothing short of the best illustration work in comics today. The colorists are very careful to leave the drawings 'sketchy,' the ink is light and the work looks like it was grafted straight from Bernie's sketchbook. Color added here and there, mostly mute, but occassionally garrish (this is a horror tale, after all) is entirely subservient to the flawless lines. All of Wrightson's considerable skills are on display here, there are vampires being sired, hordes of zombies laying siege to an old manor, crypt-like sewers, and endless battle sequences. Unlike so many artists who have a 'stock' facial template whereby even the most diverse heroines and heroes all share a certain likeness, all of Wrightson's enormous army of the undead are individual and distinct, a factor which only adds to the oppressively monstrous situations we find ourselves following.
Niles story is competent if not a little too 'horrory.' What i mean to say is that there are plenty of shocks, but after a while the axe-blade is blunted, there is little down-time in this fast paced story, we are covering loads of ground. i for one am happy the plot is racing along, and prefer if the axe gets dulled from over-use. But there are narrative hounds out there who have to be miffed that tension is not being properly maintained, that there is not enough calm before and in-between the storm. Even at such an early avenue of this series I will happily give it a Voltron.
3. Astonishing and Astonishing-er.
During the dead week following the Spider-Debacle I read Whedon's latest X-venture on breakworld. I then tried to explain to Centrale why this particular series may be Marvel's best. Astonishing X-men #21 begins with a gorgeous splash-page featuring Armor and Wolverine on twin space-hover motor-cycle dealies pitted and scarred from recent battle. Logan simply states "sorry we're late," and with that the time between this issue and last (which feels like a long time for some reason) is explained away. What's more, stuff happened in the 'in-between' space between issues, something which rarely if ever happens in contemporary comics. Its all non-essential (the plot equivalent to 'he went into the bathroom to take a leak' or 'she drove 35 miles back into Toledo' and helps accelerate a story which is transpiring at a rapid clip to begin with. It is the hallmark of excellent storycraft.
Cassaday's art is phenomenal--the boy can draw. I must say I haven't been the biggest fan of his cover-work, but the interiors more than make up for it. Like Wrightson, each character has its own unique likeness, Logan is compact and ornery but not comically so, i.e. he still looks like an actual human being as some other artists seem have forgotten; Colossus is mammoth but stoic, haunted and reserved, even when bashing the shit out of Breakworld drones; a de-powered Cyke looks every part the charismatic Leader he should be, but without the playboy over-kill that is whoever plays him in the X-men film franchise; Emma is the cold bombshell, the perfect foil to Kitty, and Kitty... steals the show.
There is a sequence towards the end of this issue which is just brilliantly done and wholly compelling. Without giving too much away, Kitty and Colossus are safe for the moment, have found sleeping quarters for the evening, and are in desperate need of rest before a day which may literally be world-destroying. At the bottom of a page Colossus meditates, "They bring me back from dead. They want me dead. I will destroy them. I will save them. I'm so confused... so... tired." He is putting on a sleeping gown as Kitty undresses behind a red hued blind. The Reader turns the page and is blown away. The top half of the page is stunning, an empty bed rests in the right foreground, Kitty stands in the center, her naked back to us, shaded in a tasteful yet completely seductive way, she is drawing open a curtain revealing herself to Colossus who sits in the background with a face that is dumbstruck, his emotions captured entirely inside his arched eyebrows.
The panel below is a close-up on Kitty's face which we of course couldn't see before. It is the cinematic equivalent of a quick cut. We've just seen Colossus' face, now we get to see the face he was staring at (In the previous panel even though Kitty is naked before him, it is clear that Peter is looking Kitty directly in the eyes). And oh what eyes. The close-up on Kitty is beguiling, she is not smiling, her eye-lids are closed just enough to hint at how tired she is, her soft brown eyes opened wide enough to dispel any doubts to the intensity of her desire.
The next panel 'cuts' back to a close-up of Colossus's dumbstruck face. A tiny bubble reads "Now I am more confused..."
The last panel at the bottom of the page cuts back to a close-up of Kitty who is now smiling and looking deferentially at the floor. We then see what has made her smile. A word-bubble finishes Colossus's sentence:
"and somehow, not as tired."
The whole page an a half is a perfect representation of Whedon's absolute mastery of the medium. With another 20 pages or so that are perhaps not as good but terrific nonetheless, I am forced to hand out another Voltron.
3. Three Sentence Howls
a) Amazing Spider-man #540 Writer: JMS, Artist: Garney
Spidey's Pissed. Shit is going down. Maybe its because he had to sit through his own film.
Rating: Lando
b) New X-men #38
I am throughly enjoying Academy X's Quest for Magik. Colossus sister is one mean looking bitch. Can't recommend this title enough but it will likely remain overlooked by the masses thus...
Rating: Gimli
c) Stephen King's the Dark Tower: Gunslinger Born #4
am pretty sure that is the official, longwinded, overblown title of this series which is rapidly devolving into a longwinded and overblown story. Still, there's alot to like. And the art is gorgeous.
Rating: Lando
4. Things to Look Forward To
Well, I can't believe its Monday and i haven't burned through my stack of new comics yet. Thats what a vacation will get me I suppose. I still have the most recent New Avengers' joint to settle down to as well as Countdown #51. I have high hopes for both books. Regarding the former I might as well close with a factoid which may interest only me, but should provide a few laughs for y'all as well. Back when the Avengers disassembled and were re-assembled under Luke Cage, I remember a splash page of the new rebel group as drawn by Yu. It was a decent drawing, everyone looked appropriately menacing and/or bad-ass as their 'breaking-the-law' status seems to suggest. Well in the interest of Science, or perhaps Comedy, I showed the picture to the aforementioned birthday-girl and asked her if she could name any of the characters. Comics are not her bag, even Spidey's strange black costume (remember this was well before the Spider-Debacle Movie) would through her for a loop. Her guesses? hehe (below with the actual character's name followed by her oft ingenius guess):
Luke Cage: Muscle-Man (pretty accurate all things considered.)
Spider-Man: Chain-Link-Fence Man (Yu's webslingings do have the rough, chain-link barbed quality to them)
Ronin: Sword Scary (pronounced as one word, emphasis on scary)
Iron Fist: Dragon Pants (ell to the fucking oh ell)
Doc Strange: Magic Fingers (ding ding ding, we have a winner!)
Spider-Woman: Bat Lady Boob Babe (as the only female representative I suppose her breasts need be big enough for all women everywhere)
Wolverine: Logan (yeah, that's right. My girl's got mad knowledge)
See ya next week!
Left D
1. The Week That Was
My charming Siren's birthday fell upon this past Friday and in commemoration of this fact i left the other hounds in Chicago and journeyed with my lady to picturesque Mizzou. The day before we left I dropped by the LCS and picked up whatever titles my good lads had been keeping for me. To this end I have glorious news:
I now Have a complete run of the Fables series. Including the Last Castle One Shot. You have no idea the happiness this fact brings me. Now I must add, all is not done in fabletown. A few of the issues I have are in less than Mint condition and i will track down replacements leisurely, I may spring for the Maleev varient #1, and my issues 28 and 29 are signed by the Artist, Tony Akins, but I may want to get unsigned copies too. Fables, (and to a very large extent, the Sandman) is a huge reason I've gotten back into comics. Willingham re-opened the door for me and it is unlikely I will ever look back. Thanks Bill. Look what you did, goddamit.
2. City of Others
One of the titles I picked up on Thursday was a gem of an issue, City of Others #2. Written by Steve Niles and penciled by Bernie Wrightson, this title is going to be a BIG deal. I gave RHD a taste of the first issue and thought he might do a review for us here at the Cerb but he passed, though if i remember correctly his praise was high. The protagonist 'Blud,' is right up Righty's alley (and what a dark and sordid alley that is). This is horror comics at its finest, pulpy no holds barred serial style stories the kind you might find filmed in black and white on a local public broadcast channel or told aloud on NPR after midnight in October. of course those mediums would put a damper on this new series' most wonderful feature, Wrightson's amazing pencils.
They are nothing short of the best illustration work in comics today. The colorists are very careful to leave the drawings 'sketchy,' the ink is light and the work looks like it was grafted straight from Bernie's sketchbook. Color added here and there, mostly mute, but occassionally garrish (this is a horror tale, after all) is entirely subservient to the flawless lines. All of Wrightson's considerable skills are on display here, there are vampires being sired, hordes of zombies laying siege to an old manor, crypt-like sewers, and endless battle sequences. Unlike so many artists who have a 'stock' facial template whereby even the most diverse heroines and heroes all share a certain likeness, all of Wrightson's enormous army of the undead are individual and distinct, a factor which only adds to the oppressively monstrous situations we find ourselves following.
Niles story is competent if not a little too 'horrory.' What i mean to say is that there are plenty of shocks, but after a while the axe-blade is blunted, there is little down-time in this fast paced story, we are covering loads of ground. i for one am happy the plot is racing along, and prefer if the axe gets dulled from over-use. But there are narrative hounds out there who have to be miffed that tension is not being properly maintained, that there is not enough calm before and in-between the storm. Even at such an early avenue of this series I will happily give it a Voltron.
3. Astonishing and Astonishing-er.
During the dead week following the Spider-Debacle I read Whedon's latest X-venture on breakworld. I then tried to explain to Centrale why this particular series may be Marvel's best. Astonishing X-men #21 begins with a gorgeous splash-page featuring Armor and Wolverine on twin space-hover motor-cycle dealies pitted and scarred from recent battle. Logan simply states "sorry we're late," and with that the time between this issue and last (which feels like a long time for some reason) is explained away. What's more, stuff happened in the 'in-between' space between issues, something which rarely if ever happens in contemporary comics. Its all non-essential (the plot equivalent to 'he went into the bathroom to take a leak' or 'she drove 35 miles back into Toledo' and helps accelerate a story which is transpiring at a rapid clip to begin with. It is the hallmark of excellent storycraft.
Cassaday's art is phenomenal--the boy can draw. I must say I haven't been the biggest fan of his cover-work, but the interiors more than make up for it. Like Wrightson, each character has its own unique likeness, Logan is compact and ornery but not comically so, i.e. he still looks like an actual human being as some other artists seem have forgotten; Colossus is mammoth but stoic, haunted and reserved, even when bashing the shit out of Breakworld drones; a de-powered Cyke looks every part the charismatic Leader he should be, but without the playboy over-kill that is whoever plays him in the X-men film franchise; Emma is the cold bombshell, the perfect foil to Kitty, and Kitty... steals the show.
There is a sequence towards the end of this issue which is just brilliantly done and wholly compelling. Without giving too much away, Kitty and Colossus are safe for the moment, have found sleeping quarters for the evening, and are in desperate need of rest before a day which may literally be world-destroying. At the bottom of a page Colossus meditates, "They bring me back from dead. They want me dead. I will destroy them. I will save them. I'm so confused... so... tired." He is putting on a sleeping gown as Kitty undresses behind a red hued blind. The Reader turns the page and is blown away. The top half of the page is stunning, an empty bed rests in the right foreground, Kitty stands in the center, her naked back to us, shaded in a tasteful yet completely seductive way, she is drawing open a curtain revealing herself to Colossus who sits in the background with a face that is dumbstruck, his emotions captured entirely inside his arched eyebrows.
The panel below is a close-up on Kitty's face which we of course couldn't see before. It is the cinematic equivalent of a quick cut. We've just seen Colossus' face, now we get to see the face he was staring at (In the previous panel even though Kitty is naked before him, it is clear that Peter is looking Kitty directly in the eyes). And oh what eyes. The close-up on Kitty is beguiling, she is not smiling, her eye-lids are closed just enough to hint at how tired she is, her soft brown eyes opened wide enough to dispel any doubts to the intensity of her desire.
The next panel 'cuts' back to a close-up of Colossus's dumbstruck face. A tiny bubble reads "Now I am more confused..."
The last panel at the bottom of the page cuts back to a close-up of Kitty who is now smiling and looking deferentially at the floor. We then see what has made her smile. A word-bubble finishes Colossus's sentence:
"and somehow, not as tired."
The whole page an a half is a perfect representation of Whedon's absolute mastery of the medium. With another 20 pages or so that are perhaps not as good but terrific nonetheless, I am forced to hand out another Voltron.
3. Three Sentence Howls
a) Amazing Spider-man #540 Writer: JMS, Artist: Garney
Spidey's Pissed. Shit is going down. Maybe its because he had to sit through his own film.
Rating: Lando
b) New X-men #38
I am throughly enjoying Academy X's Quest for Magik. Colossus sister is one mean looking bitch. Can't recommend this title enough but it will likely remain overlooked by the masses thus...
Rating: Gimli
c) Stephen King's the Dark Tower: Gunslinger Born #4
am pretty sure that is the official, longwinded, overblown title of this series which is rapidly devolving into a longwinded and overblown story. Still, there's alot to like. And the art is gorgeous.
Rating: Lando
4. Things to Look Forward To
Well, I can't believe its Monday and i haven't burned through my stack of new comics yet. Thats what a vacation will get me I suppose. I still have the most recent New Avengers' joint to settle down to as well as Countdown #51. I have high hopes for both books. Regarding the former I might as well close with a factoid which may interest only me, but should provide a few laughs for y'all as well. Back when the Avengers disassembled and were re-assembled under Luke Cage, I remember a splash page of the new rebel group as drawn by Yu. It was a decent drawing, everyone looked appropriately menacing and/or bad-ass as their 'breaking-the-law' status seems to suggest. Well in the interest of Science, or perhaps Comedy, I showed the picture to the aforementioned birthday-girl and asked her if she could name any of the characters. Comics are not her bag, even Spidey's strange black costume (remember this was well before the Spider-Debacle Movie) would through her for a loop. Her guesses? hehe (below with the actual character's name followed by her oft ingenius guess):
Luke Cage: Muscle-Man (pretty accurate all things considered.)
Spider-Man: Chain-Link-Fence Man (Yu's webslingings do have the rough, chain-link barbed quality to them)
Ronin: Sword Scary (pronounced as one word, emphasis on scary)
Iron Fist: Dragon Pants (ell to the fucking oh ell)
Doc Strange: Magic Fingers (ding ding ding, we have a winner!)
Spider-Woman: Bat Lady Boob Babe (as the only female representative I suppose her breasts need be big enough for all women everywhere)
Wolverine: Logan (yeah, that's right. My girl's got mad knowledge)
See ya next week!
Left D
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Spiderman 3 RHD review
So, as that self-Centered head has already let slip, the three of us went and saw Spiderman 3 at the box office last Friday. Yep. That’s what we saw. Wow. Uh-huh. I need a fucking drink.
Okay, that’s better, bourbon to dull the pain, and a Motorhead to contain it. The night started off with a huge amount of promise. An okay meal at a nearby pub with some Black Bush to wash it down started that evening off decently enough. After waiting in line for about an hour, and two hands of go fish later, we were allowed to go fight for spots in the theater. Central and I got snack duty. He was in charge of the list. Never again. Moving on, cinnamon pretzel in hand and big ass coke in the arm rest cup holder I was prepared.
Half way through the movie I began to wonder why they didn’t sell hard booze at movie theaters. Not because I like the occasional drink, which I do, but because I needed something to make that ugly on screen pretty again. I think that at some point Raimi thought “I think this movie would be best done with dialog so cheesy that lactose intolerant people watching will die from it. Oh, and lets not write any bit of dialog for James Franco that isn’t strained and over the top Okay people?” That and I hate Topher Grace.
Those well thought out and reasonable objections aside, there were good points to the movie. James Franco did what he could with what he was given and his constant over acting (in a good way) is the only thing that made his lines make sense. Thomas Haden Church was the perfect choice for the Sandman and played the part perfectly and I wished he had more lines. Stan Lee makes a cameo that made me laugh and smile. Mageina Tovah as Ursula the next door neighbor still is one smoking hot biddy. But if I ever hear Kirsten Dunst sing again I will forcibly remove my eardrums to stop the pain, oh god the pain.
Later, after a few fingers of whiskey had been applied, for purely medical reasons I assure you, I was informed that the movie had managed to get 2 stars from some unlucky critic that must have kicked a puppy to get stuck reviewing such wonderful torture. I could only remark that it had well earned those two stars.
The moral of this story, dear reader, is do not pay 9 bucks to see this film. If some stranger offers you a free ticket to see it bite them hard on the nose and kick them between the legs. If a friend offers you a free ticket pull them gently aside and step on their toes hard. If you have delusions that this movie is good, there are medications out there for you, seek professional help and you too can be on your road to recovery.
Okay, that’s better, bourbon to dull the pain, and a Motorhead to contain it. The night started off with a huge amount of promise. An okay meal at a nearby pub with some Black Bush to wash it down started that evening off decently enough. After waiting in line for about an hour, and two hands of go fish later, we were allowed to go fight for spots in the theater. Central and I got snack duty. He was in charge of the list. Never again. Moving on, cinnamon pretzel in hand and big ass coke in the arm rest cup holder I was prepared.
Half way through the movie I began to wonder why they didn’t sell hard booze at movie theaters. Not because I like the occasional drink, which I do, but because I needed something to make that ugly on screen pretty again. I think that at some point Raimi thought “I think this movie would be best done with dialog so cheesy that lactose intolerant people watching will die from it. Oh, and lets not write any bit of dialog for James Franco that isn’t strained and over the top Okay people?” That and I hate Topher Grace.
Those well thought out and reasonable objections aside, there were good points to the movie. James Franco did what he could with what he was given and his constant over acting (in a good way) is the only thing that made his lines make sense. Thomas Haden Church was the perfect choice for the Sandman and played the part perfectly and I wished he had more lines. Stan Lee makes a cameo that made me laugh and smile. Mageina Tovah as Ursula the next door neighbor still is one smoking hot biddy. But if I ever hear Kirsten Dunst sing again I will forcibly remove my eardrums to stop the pain, oh god the pain.
Later, after a few fingers of whiskey had been applied, for purely medical reasons I assure you, I was informed that the movie had managed to get 2 stars from some unlucky critic that must have kicked a puppy to get stuck reviewing such wonderful torture. I could only remark that it had well earned those two stars.
The moral of this story, dear reader, is do not pay 9 bucks to see this film. If some stranger offers you a free ticket to see it bite them hard on the nose and kick them between the legs. If a friend offers you a free ticket pull them gently aside and step on their toes hard. If you have delusions that this movie is good, there are medications out there for you, seek professional help and you too can be on your road to recovery.
Friday, May 4, 2007
(A) Sinister take on Spider-man 3
And to think, I almost dedicated that film to the memory of Cap (may he rest in peace).
Like Righty before me I will post my two cents on the Spider-Debacle that the cerberus (and attendant sirens) were unfortunate enough to see Friday evening, opening night no less.
Spider-man 3 is a complete trainwreck. I won't go all fan-boy on the lot of ya, I'm not as well-versed in comic lore as I would like to be (patience, I'll get there young grasshopper) and I can't quite pick out all the "that's not how it was in the comic-books" plot points and characterizations. But what I do know is a decent film when I see one. There might have been a good film nestled somewhere in that tangled web (get it? like a spider web? hehe. ugh. see what lengths i've been forced to go in order to not feel dead inside?) but I haven't the foggiest idea how one might go about fixing things. The procedure would sorta be like separated siamese triplets connected at the head. The damn thing can't very well function on its own, but separate them and chances are all three will endure a slow painful death. Like most of the audience at the theater Friday evening.
Its strange. because for the most part i think the film is well-done. the action sequences are actiony. the casting was pretty damn good. Toby makes for a geeky Parker. Franco's Osborn is all noble hamlety 'I'll revenge you father!', The Sandman looks like he walked off the damn pages of the comic book and Aunt May is spot on. The others... aren't quite terrible. Lemme just say this, I don't hate Dunst, but I do believe she needs a helping hand in order to turn out something worthwhile. An auteur director say, or a script for the ages. Sometimes she just clicks, like in ESotSM. She made a decent kiddie vampire too. But as MJ she just sorta... doesn't do things for me. Maybe its the pouting, maybe it is the music numbers (as Righty already painfully noted). Whatever it is, I'm not buying it. Not in. Decidely out. On the next train to, um, Gwen Stacy island?
Moving on there is one character (and actor) about whom the less said the better. I hate the comicbook iteration of him (and the endless retconing of his backstory... who are you already!?) and definitely loathed the on screen adaptation. Thankfully he doesn't turn up for almost 2 hours and is dispatched with promptly. But not before his child-like dragon-howls made me expect to hear a South Parkian 'Timmy!" at any moment.
I think the film is most successful when it is trying to be fun. When it makes fun of itself and remembers its origins as a cartoony, geeky comicbook. The humor on display when Peter Parker goes emo and transforms into Conor Oberst and winks, snaps his fingers, points, and sashays about the street is the wince worthy self deprecation that is a Spider-man hallmark. The web-slinger works best, in my mind, when his raw, superhuman strength and agility is balanced on a tight rope with his more human failings. As this franchise continues (and it will, I have no doubt) it will be interesting to see who replaces Toby. I have a feeling we are going to get a Michael Keaton style argument years down the line, as in who made the best Peter Parker (even though for my money, and i'm sure to accrue an enormous amount of flack for this, Val Kilmer is my Batman/Bruce Wayne combo du jour).
Over-all I can't imagine this film being truly loved by the masses. Which won't stop it from making more money than everything this side of HP5 and Pirates3. It might be even more terrible on your home entertainment system, so if you want to see it I suggest you do so now. Don't expect much, and sit back and enjoy some neat special effects. However, if F4: Rise of the Silver Surfer is somehow worse than this, well, it will be sweet relief to lay back and have our planet devoured by Galactus.
Jealous of you big guy, damn jealous. wish i had my own heralds... *grumble* ... wish i could eat planets myself... *grumble grumble*
Like Righty before me I will post my two cents on the Spider-Debacle that the cerberus (and attendant sirens) were unfortunate enough to see Friday evening, opening night no less.
Spider-man 3 is a complete trainwreck. I won't go all fan-boy on the lot of ya, I'm not as well-versed in comic lore as I would like to be (patience, I'll get there young grasshopper) and I can't quite pick out all the "that's not how it was in the comic-books" plot points and characterizations. But what I do know is a decent film when I see one. There might have been a good film nestled somewhere in that tangled web (get it? like a spider web? hehe. ugh. see what lengths i've been forced to go in order to not feel dead inside?) but I haven't the foggiest idea how one might go about fixing things. The procedure would sorta be like separated siamese triplets connected at the head. The damn thing can't very well function on its own, but separate them and chances are all three will endure a slow painful death. Like most of the audience at the theater Friday evening.
Its strange. because for the most part i think the film is well-done. the action sequences are actiony. the casting was pretty damn good. Toby makes for a geeky Parker. Franco's Osborn is all noble hamlety 'I'll revenge you father!', The Sandman looks like he walked off the damn pages of the comic book and Aunt May is spot on. The others... aren't quite terrible. Lemme just say this, I don't hate Dunst, but I do believe she needs a helping hand in order to turn out something worthwhile. An auteur director say, or a script for the ages. Sometimes she just clicks, like in ESotSM. She made a decent kiddie vampire too. But as MJ she just sorta... doesn't do things for me. Maybe its the pouting, maybe it is the music numbers (as Righty already painfully noted). Whatever it is, I'm not buying it. Not in. Decidely out. On the next train to, um, Gwen Stacy island?
Moving on there is one character (and actor) about whom the less said the better. I hate the comicbook iteration of him (and the endless retconing of his backstory... who are you already!?) and definitely loathed the on screen adaptation. Thankfully he doesn't turn up for almost 2 hours and is dispatched with promptly. But not before his child-like dragon-howls made me expect to hear a South Parkian 'Timmy!" at any moment.
I think the film is most successful when it is trying to be fun. When it makes fun of itself and remembers its origins as a cartoony, geeky comicbook. The humor on display when Peter Parker goes emo and transforms into Conor Oberst and winks, snaps his fingers, points, and sashays about the street is the wince worthy self deprecation that is a Spider-man hallmark. The web-slinger works best, in my mind, when his raw, superhuman strength and agility is balanced on a tight rope with his more human failings. As this franchise continues (and it will, I have no doubt) it will be interesting to see who replaces Toby. I have a feeling we are going to get a Michael Keaton style argument years down the line, as in who made the best Peter Parker (even though for my money, and i'm sure to accrue an enormous amount of flack for this, Val Kilmer is my Batman/Bruce Wayne combo du jour).
Over-all I can't imagine this film being truly loved by the masses. Which won't stop it from making more money than everything this side of HP5 and Pirates3. It might be even more terrible on your home entertainment system, so if you want to see it I suggest you do so now. Don't expect much, and sit back and enjoy some neat special effects. However, if F4: Rise of the Silver Surfer is somehow worse than this, well, it will be sweet relief to lay back and have our planet devoured by Galactus.
Jealous of you big guy, damn jealous. wish i had my own heralds... *grumble* ... wish i could eat planets myself... *grumble grumble*
TGIC #2
Spider-Man, Spider-Man,
Does whatever a spider can.
Spins a web, any size,
Catches thieves just like flies.
Look out! Here comes Spider-Man…
Does whatever a spider can.
Spins a web, any size,
Catches thieves just like flies.
Look out! Here comes Spider-Man…
‘Tis the season for jollity my friends, as kindly old St. Peter has opted to rub elbows with we happy few, we band of...something or other. But, yes, in answer to the inevitable question, the Cerberus will be in attendance on opening day, specifically the 9 pm showing at our favored theater downtown. Indeed, this particular sojourn amongst the fanboys, webheads, and trend-followers almost has a quality of the questing about it. One could almost sing about it; mayhaps something like:
We three heads of monstrous mien,
Bearing malcontent shall track our dear Pete,
Fire and brimstone, hellish plain and bottomless pit,
Watch as we witness a saga repeat.
O Star of Maguire, Star so pasty white,
Star with a vacant stare and teeth so bright,
Hollywood leading, fanboy teasing,
Make another film of Spidery might.
Bearing malcontent shall track our dear Pete,
Fire and brimstone, hellish plain and bottomless pit,
Watch as we witness a saga repeat.
O Star of Maguire, Star so pasty white,
Star with a vacant stare and teeth so bright,
Hollywood leading, fanboy teasing,
Make another film of Spidery might.
…or not. (Righty, being without culture, is going to have no clue what I cribbed that from; Lefty is simply going to twitch as he’s unable to persist in his “Dreamweaving” once this bastard gets stuck in his head.)
It probably seems like the natural state of things that a comic-reviewing three-headed dog with a flair for the hyphen would attend opening days of most any comic-based movie. Quite the contrary in fact, as this will be the first of the comic-related movies any of the three heads have seen thus far this year. Why you ask? Well, a few reasons, none of which, fortunately, require breaking into song. A combination of poor timing, planning, and the punking out of a certain head of the Western persuasion, resulted in us missing out on both Ghostrider and 300. Admittedly, we could’ve seen it on an individual head basis, but what fun would that be?
Furthermore, I, in my capacity as Central Head and mouthpiece of reason, can’t really say I’m all too terribly broken up over it. I mean, it’s not like we didn’t meet every last one of those Spartan bastards when they bit the big one the first time around. Hell, we were feasting for days on the souls of those Persian buggers they sent our way. Frankly, it was kinda like take-out, what with the glut of foreign food we had delivered to our doorstep. Even Lefty took time off from his lyrePod and Arachne’s latest hit to try a bit of the Middle Eastern food Xerxes was so considerate to provide. The reed armor even made each one seem like they were in individual take-out boxes. So, yeah, didn’t exactly miss anything we hadn’t already tried once…
As for Ghostrider, I can’t exactly back anything that so thoroughly distorts the role of the demon in the grand scheme of things. For one thing, this whole head-on-fire-while-riding-a-hog thing…just played out. Plus, in the comic Ghostrider may have been a flaming skeleton, but he still looked like he had a bit of heft to him; skeletal he may be, but capable of snapping you in two he can and would love to do. In all the previews it looked like he went from being Nicholas Cage into some pre-teen’s still-growing frame. And on that note, Nicholas Cage? Really? Nothing against him, but if he really does have a massive Ghostrider tat on his back, leave it on there. Hell, take advantage of it and make the Rider consume him from there. Couldn’t possibly suck more than what I heard about the special effects otherwise.
__________________
So, no new reviews this week…our bad. Admittedly we’ve been rather slack-assed about it lately, but in my own defense, getting to the LCS has been a serious pain in the collective ass for yours truly of late. I know, I know, this just sounds like the high pitched whining of a lazy hellhound head, but we – and I – will get better soon. And who are you to judge? I’ve already written a song for you today!!! What have you done for us lately, other than, you know, justify this blog’s existence by reading it. Anywho, since I’ve already got my write on and have already broached the subject of 300, here’re just a few thoughts on Mr. Frank Miller.
Righty kicked an article from the LA Times to Lefty and yours truly, discussing Miller’s extended stay in La La Land (http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/movies/la-ca-miller29apr29,1,7741626.story?ctrack=1&cset=true). Here’s my problem: in his haste to preserve the vision of his comic art, he neglects to acknowledge the inherent differences that exist between genres. Some comics, books, paintings translate to the silver screen more or less directly and without the need for too terribly much in the way of interpretation (300 from all accounts falls into this category). Others need quite a bit of tweaking to make a successful jump into the various reels. It may be that Miller’s style allows for a smoother transition than that of other writers, artists, or writer/artists; but this doesn’t mean his work needs to be projected, panel for panel, on the screen.
Mike Mignola, for instance, has gone on record stating that he considers the movies and cartoons based off of Hellboy to be completely separate from the comics he has written and drawn. While he provided and continues to provide insight to the filmmakers, these flickering images are not under his control, nor should they be. As far as he is concerned (and here I hope I’m not putting words in his mouth, though I doubt I am), they represent new universes and different interpretations of the work, drawing inspiration from the source material, but not (re)presenting themselves as a movie version of the comics. This is probably why the movies are so thoroughly enjoyable (that and Ron Perlman).
Miller, on the other hand, can’t help but take shots at the current Batman films for not acknowledging the importance of his works. He once said something along the lines of “it might be called Batman Begins but it was Year One.” Um, bullshit. Elements of Year One are certainly present, but so are other storylines. Similarly, the remark regarding the current film’s title, The Dark Knight, that “[t]hey finally got the title right,” is nothing short of insulting. Let’s not forget that the people involved in the creative process have repeatedly mentioned those works they leaned toward and pulled most directly from, with many of Miller’s topping the list. So why the sneering?
The most worrisome aspect of this is that people seem to think he’s in the right on these issues. “He was making movies into comic books” is such a loaded comment because movies need not be comic books, and comics need not be movies. Sure, there’s room for both and the two reflecting each other is as valid an artistic expression as any other, but there’s no reason to think that the best way to make a comic book movie is to make the movie into a comic book. That’s like saying the best way to make a movie based on Pride & Prejudice is to make the movie into a Jane Austen novel. Sounds pretty stoned, eh?
Let me wrap this up and I’ll shut up for probably a week or so. Miller seems to want to reserve his ideas and the art he created for his own uses. Not only is this wrong, but it is absolutely impossible. There is no way for him to “claim” an interpretation of any character, even those he created. Ultimately his point of view, once the work is in the public sphere, is not necessarily any more important than that of his readership. Yes, he has the right to sell the characters and ideas he owns (Sin City, Ronin, etc.) to Hollywood, but unless he’s cut a deal wherein his input and presence is mandated by the sale, he cannot get pissed when another artist puts a new spin on his material. F. Scott Fitzgerald recommended taking the money and running when dealing with Hollywood. Unless Miller plans on directing everything he ever wrote, he needs to do something of the same. Perhaps this is an overreaction or a misinterpretation on my part, but enough comments keep popping up that I’m a touch peeved and more than a touch twitchy.
Until next time, though, my rot-breath brothers and I will (hopefully) post for your reading pleasure. In the meantime, I remain, infernally yours,
cenTrale
Thursday, May 3, 2007
I'm Not Dead God Damnit
Damn it all I'm not to be replaced with a broken colander or some shit eating goat's head. I'm just lazy is all. Truth be told I was getting burned out from work and needed a break: Not that reading comics and writing reviews isn't fun. But as the end of my vacation has arrived I shall now make my return to the blog that I have long ignored.
The following month will see me post twice a week or the two bastards to the left of me can take a finger for every post I miss. Some prelude to this month will be a questioning look at that porno epic that Alan Moore put out The Lost Girls since no one else is actually reviewing it, Ghost Rider: Trail of Tears updates. My look at the first three issues of Marvel Zombies vs. The Army of Darkness, and I will tear a new one to the prolific amount of Night of the Living Dead comic book adaptations in all various forms. Fear not faithful reader I'm back and drunk as ever.
The following month will see me post twice a week or the two bastards to the left of me can take a finger for every post I miss. Some prelude to this month will be a questioning look at that porno epic that Alan Moore put out The Lost Girls since no one else is actually reviewing it, Ghost Rider: Trail of Tears updates. My look at the first three issues of Marvel Zombies vs. The Army of Darkness, and I will tear a new one to the prolific amount of Night of the Living Dead comic book adaptations in all various forms. Fear not faithful reader I'm back and drunk as ever.
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