Three-Sentence Howl: cenTrale #1

Behold Sinister Head's newest brain child, which, as is my wont, I've opted to introduce because, well, that's the kind of guy I am. The Three-Sentence Howl is a new approach to giving you, our not-so-gentle readers, what it is you crave. Short but (hopefully) enlightening, these mini-views will offer quick looks at reasonably recent issues. Other than the title, writer, and penciler, information will be fairly skimpy (other than the rankings, which we include 'cause we're judgmental like that), so if you want to know more, ya might just have to go out and drop the three bucks to read the book. Or don't. See if we care.

Anyways, read on and discover just what can or can't be said in three sentences about 22-pages of comicy good- (or not-so-good-) ness.

Aquaman #50
Writer: Tad Williams
Pencils: Shawn McManus
Let's channel RHD here: SO. FUCKING. ANGRY.
Ranking: Lando

X-Factor #17
Writer: Peter David
Pencils: Khoi Pham
It's saying something when a single issue locks you in for every back issue and every issue to come in the near future (barring a Tad Williams style meltdown). The art works, story is intriguing, and it functions well within the wider universe. I smell a feature coming.
Ranking: Snake-eyes

Fell #8
Writer: Warren Ellis
Pencils: Ben Templesmith
It worries me when I read the letters section and Ellis implies that this is an off issue. Perhaps not an ideal issue in that it goes into pretty heavy explication to get the point across (as opposed to the previous issue which, wrenching in its entirety, manages to develop the character for a first time reader while allowing the final image to sum up the torment that is Detective Fell). Nonetheless, this is a wonderful introduction into Fell's head and would make for a stunning jumping-on point.
Ranking: Snake-eyes

Fables #60
Writer: Bill Willingham
Pencils: Mark Buckingham
I find it truly fascinating how Willingham can juggle multiple plot lines in a single issue and give, if not equal, appropriate time to each portion. This promises to be an incredible period within the Fables' history and I genuinely cannot wait for what's coming next. Oh, and remember, always remember: IGN's on crack.
Ranking: Voltron

All-Star Superman #7
Writer: Grant Morrison
Pencils: Frank Quitely
Um...yeah. See, Morrison reminds me of poets who occasionally remove key components of their work just to up the whole confusion factor and cause the reader to think harder, while expecting said readers to get the point before the final line. The latter half of this issue worked fine...the first half was kind of a WTF?
Ranking: Gimli

Immortal Iron Fist #4
Writers: Ed Brubaker & Matt Fraction
Pencils: lots of 'em, but the primary is David Aja
What happens when you imbue bullets with the power of the Iron Fist? Let's just say the various heads of Hydra get singed off right quick. This whole issue pretty much sums up a notion of "the cool."
Ranking: Snake-eyes

The Loners #1
Writer: C. B. Cebulski
Pencils: Karl Moline
After a discussion with Lefty I decided he might've been a bit harsh as there's plenty of potential for this series to get worse. That said, it could take a turn for the better. I say worry less, drink more, and hope against hope they don't try to legitimize this band of fuck-ups and instead go with some seriously screwed-up shenanigans (Alliteration Society of America, I am your man).
Ranking: Gimli

Runaways #25
Writer: Joss Whedon
Pencils: Michael Ryan
A disappointing start, but I'm willing to give Whedon the benefit of the doubt. I mean, sure, who knows what happened after the meeting with "The Tin Man" and it's probably fair to say the kids are in all likelihood without too many resources to appeal to when on the run. But seriously, the Kingpin?
Ranking: Gimli