I didn't mean for things to turn out this way, i promise.
fellow Hell-hounds,
Directly below is the 10th Cerberus single issue review. This occassion calls for a shit-ton of pomp and to a lesser extent, circumstance. Said circumstance being the unfortunate unveiling of our 7th and most dire comic ranking yet. Thomas and Jake, my unflagging compatriots were carousing about Dis a few weeks back when a close friend offered a suggestion. An answer to the problem Cerberus was facing regarding our lack of an absolute bottom of the barrel ranking. Close friend said, "Why not Joe Camel?" As in "look out kids, reading this stuff will give you cancer!" We mulled and considered, unsure if we ever really would come across a comic that was so bad it deserved such a dishonour. Then Grant Morrison returned from sabbbatical. And the rest is history.
Take 'er easy, Dudes,
the Cerberus
PS- check out the tenth review below, and as always, we'd love to know what you think. In particular, what do you think should be our currently un-named, most exhalted, damn near perfect top 'o the heap ranking? Howl on my brothers.
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2 comments:
praise from various friends of cerberus on their 10 stunning reviews:
Echidna: I always knew my son had this in him. how wonderful of you to give such great bounty to the world of man. now if you'll excuse me i have to go birth more monstrosities....
Nemean Lion: well blast my impenetrable hide! well done bro!
Orthrus: well, if *I* had three heads instead of two, *I'd* be the one getting all the praise... grumble...
Ladon: your words are as delicioussss as the golden applesssss I guard. Keep up the good work guysssss.
Chimera: We really hate your work! Don't listen to him, we love it! Actually I find it rather pedestrian. What do you know, you are just a goat! Oh, I'm all high and mighty, I'm the dragon head, I breath fire, Ooooh look at me. Shut it lion, or I'll make our snake tail bite you in the ass.
Sphinx: this is the greatest thing that's happened to me since Napolean and his men gave me a nose-job!
Lerneaen Hydra: We, the individual parts of the many-headed hydra concur that you sirs, are to be commended. We voted and found you 37 times great, 14 times passable, and 2 votes withstained, Billy and Suzie heads can't read.
Ethon: Your words reach the very heavens I soar within. Kudos to you, men!
Teumessian Fox: Your wit is as elusive and unpredictable as I! Bravo!
Typhon: fsssssssszzzzzlssssvgggrhgvvvfisssslllfsssszzz (what, i'm raw volcanic chaos, what do you want from your old man, words?)
hillarity ensues.
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